"I got the papers signed today, it's official."

Today was a monumental day.  I received a beautiful thing.  It probably wouldn’t mean that much to you.  I’m positive you would not be impressed.  It came in a small, unassuming little box.  Just plain cardboard.  The man who brought it didn’t know he was doing anything special.  But it meant the world to me.  Would you like to see a picture?  You would?  Well, here it is: 

Aren’t they beautiful?  Textured linen.  Bright colors.  Hundreds of them.  Little, tiny cards.  And the best part of all – my name.  Right there.  Up there in the corner.  And that title I’ve wanted so badly since that day in 2001, sitting in Winebrenner, when I realized in a blinding flash what I wanted to do with my life.  (Astute observers will realize that this did not occur until my last semester at Howard Payne.  Nothing like a looming graduation to make one decide on a career.) 

I’m sure, one day, I’ll become used to business cards.  And I will cease to thrill at the sight of my new name tag.  And the annual convocation, with its academic regalia and musty traditions and school-wide luncheon, will become rote and tedious and the robes will seem so hot and cumbersome.  But tomorrow is my first one, and I am fairly giddy with excitement. 

So that’s the big news.  I have accepted a position at the University of Saint Mary, a very small, liberal arts, Catholic university in Leavenworth, Kansas.  I love my job.  It’s pretty much just what I was looking for.  My co-workers are welcoming and supportive, my classes are small and intimate, my students are bright and/or hard-working, the campus is both beautiful and beautifully idiosyncratic.  I know that it is not perfect; its major flaws are those inherent in a small school.  And I know that the quirks that I now find amusing I will probably eventually find frustrating.  But for the first time in a long time, professionally, I feel like I belong, I feel wanted, and I feel comfortable and confident in my abilities.  These are good feelings.

We are now in the heart of the Midwest.  (Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in North Carolina anymore…)  No mountains and no beaches, but it was 70° yesterday at 2 PM, and that ought to count for something.  The university offered us temporary on-campus housing, which we gratefully took, since it meant we could look for a more permanent place at our leisure.  So we have a suite in the dorm.  (It’s like we’re back in college, only this time, Zachary’s allowed to stay the night.  And we have cats.)  Before you laugh, though, you should know that our rent, including utilities, cable, and internet, comes to a whopping $105 per month.  Not too shabby.  It is a little disconcerting, though, when I run into my students on my way back from the kitchen with a plate full of pizza rolls.

Zachary is having a little more trouble adjusting.  He likes his classes and his professors and he’s met some potential friends, but he has to commute, which he hates, and his job is very boring and unfulfilling.  But he’s found someone to carpool with, so hopefully that will help, and maybe the job will get better.  In the meantime, he can walk to the movie theater from our dorm, and there’s a Family Video in town where just yesterday we rented 4 movies and 1 season of Frasier for $2.62, so there are some consolations.

I am off to grade papers.  (I love just saying that, especially when it means grading 9 papers instead of 60.)  And I need to press my robe for tomorrow.  I think it’s going to be a good day, a good week, a good semester, a good year.  Hopefully.

[PS A special prize for anyone who can identify the movie quote in the title.  No cheating with google or imdb!  I'll give you a hint - it's one I saw in the theater recently...]

Choices, choices, choices

Am I the only one paralyzed by too many choices?  Even relatively simple decisions become complex.  I can’t decide what to wear, I can’t decide what type of jam to use on my sandwich, I can’t decide which SD card to buy for my new phone, I can’t decide which grocery-list-program to install.  And unfortunately for me, I may soon have a choice about where to live.

Nominally, of course, I am very pleased to have a second interview request from another university, this one in Ohio.  Surely this is a good thing!  But secretly, I almost wish that one of them won’t want me.  Or better yet, I won’t want one of them.  Because I don’t think I’m up for this type of decision.  Do we go with the one that will pay me better?  Or the one with the better work environment?  The one where neither of us will have to commute?  Or the one that is 10-12 hours closer to family?  The one where Zachary will finish faster?  Or the one with the program he likes better?  The non-tenure-track position at a big (read: prestigious) school?  Or the tenure-track position at a small school? 

I am praying that the answer is obvious.  In the meantime, I’m finding it hard to think about anything else.  Especially what to wear.

Currently Watching Across the Universe (Two-Disc Special Edition) By Evan Rachel Wood, Jim Sturgess, Joe Anderson (VI), Dana Fuchs, Martin Luther (II) see related

Well, whadda know?

Today was a good day.  Not the best of days; we're still waiting for one of those.  But a good day nonetheless.  Why was this a good day, you ask?  Especially one good enough to break a many-month silence? 

Because (drumroll)................

I have an on-campus interview for a tenure-track faculty position at a university in Kansas.  I made the second cut!  Someone wants me!  Ha!  Take that, weird post-doc where I never knew what I was doing!  I am headed (hopefully) back to academia, where at least I know how to do my job.  Somewhat.

(Ok, so maybe this isn't that good, but geez, I had to re-start somewhere.  Moss was beginning to grow on my page....)   

Like a raisin in the sun

I hate these days.  Days like today.  They make me sad. 

Let us count the ways....

Today I gave my first lecture.  Well, not my first lecture ever, but my first lecture as a bonafide professor, with a graduate degree, for a lecture course taught completely by me.  This lecture, how shall I put this delicately?, did not go well.  Okay, fine, for all practical purposes it was a disaster.  Shall we recount together the events leading up to my crash-and-burn attempt at professing?

1.)  I did not receive any materials for the course until last Wednesday.  No textbook, no sample syllabus, no previous tests, etc.  In fact, as of last Monday, the chair was still not certain which section I would be teaching.

2.)  I am (still) not in the system as a teaching faculty member.  I (still) do not have access to Blackboard, Webassign, or the Web for Faculty.  This means of course that I did not (do not) have a class roll or any information about my students, beyond the week-old enrollment number of 63.

3.)  I did not sleep well last night.  I had two separate dreams where I showed up at the wrong time, missing my class, and/or didn’t finish my syllabus, etc.  And I thought they were just dreams.

4.)  Parking on campus was a nightmare.  Even our faithful stand-by lot that always has spots open was full.  I finally park a couple blocks from my building.

5.)  I get to my building to find it is being evacuated.  Fire trucks and police are arriving as I walk up.  The word is that there is an electrical fire on the 6^th floor (this turns out to be true).  My office is on the 6^th floor.  I realize I am not going to get to my office before my class at 1:00.  I try not to think of the supplies I had left in my office that I needed for today.

6.)  My main office is in the Engineering Building.  The chemistry department is located on the other side of campus.  So is the building with my classroom.  Realizing the futility of waiting out the fire, I head towards the chemistry building.  It is hot as blazes here.  I am carrying everything I had brought home to work on for today, most of which I intended to leave in my office.  This includes a purse, a messenger bag with books, papers, and a laptop/charger, a separate bag with the portable projector and its accessories, and a grocery sack full of etc. items, my lunch, and demonstration items.  I reach the chemistry building unbelievably sweaty.

7.)  The department wants me to hold office hours in their building, but they haven’t decided where to put me.  I end up using another professor’s office to put final touches on my presentation and print out my syllabus.

8.)  My syllabus won’t print.  I head to the departmental office for help.  Everyone is at lunch, and the office is locked.  I eventually convince the student worker that I am a teacher, not a student, and she lets me in and lets me print my syllabus.

9.)  The copier is out of paper.  And staples.  The paper is locked in a cabinet.  I find the lounge with the secretary who has the key to the cabinet.  I start to copy my syllabus.

10.)  I realize with growing panic that my syllabi will not finish printing before I have to leave to get to my classroom on time.  I finally take what has printed, leaving the rest, thinking that I can go over the syllabus in electronic version and let the class share what paper copies I have.

11.)  I arrive at my classroom about 5 minutes before class starts.  Most of the class is already there, about 50 students.  I begin to set up the projector/lap-top combo, since this room does not have one installed.  Despite doing a dry run-through of this last week, the projector will not read from my computer and will only project a blue screen.  

12.)  Having given up on the projector, I pass out the syllabi I have, and proceed to go over an invisible electronic version with the class.  

13.)  I have to read the pre-survey to the students, which they take on their own paper, since the other supplies, etc.are still in my engineering office.

14.)  I try to explain the cool graphs demonstrating the importance of attendance and the contract of expectations for students and professor that are in my presentation.  This understandably falls a little flat.

15.)  I end with a chemistry anecdote that is meant to be amusing.  Some laugh.  I forget completely about my demonstrations.  Most of them are out the door before I can get out the required reading for the next class period.

16.)  After class, several students have questions about the previous textbook, the current textbook, and the companion lab course, none of which I could answer.

Zachary found me in the chemistry building a little shell-shocked.  He told me that surely Wednesday would be better.  I could only ask him, in a small voice, “I have to do this again?”